Route 96

San Franciskey? How did you came? Did you drove or did you flew? In San Francisco we stayed with Isa, one of my corky Harvard chums, and her equally cool friend Anisa, also visiting from the East. They didn’t ask us, “did you drove or did you flew?” [2006 Edit: An old Eugene Levy catchphrase [...]

We skirted Los Angeles on the storied L.A. freeways, but were so busted by the day without power that we decided to skip Los Angeles itself. It’s not like any interesting pop culture stuff ever came out of that city…

When you’re in the dark and you want to see, You need uh… electricity, eee-lectricity! Have I mentioned yet that it was a trifle warm the day we crossed the desert? It seems that one too many fans and air conditioners and soothing ocean sound generators were plugged in that day–a little fuse blew out [...]

Given the demise of Jenkin’s air conditioner, and the fact that it was a vinyl-melting 115 F by mid-morning, we decided to skip Death Valley. Instead we drove one hundred miles farther south and crossed the Mojave Desert at high noon! Our last watering hole before the great crossing–of course we’d picked a minor sub-highway [...]

Wayne Newton built an empire there. Randall Flagg made it the capitol city of evil. Sammy Davis Jr. called it “instant swinger.” What am I talking about? Shoot, boy, I’m talking about Vegas, what the hell you talking about? When we arrived around 6 pm, it was an infernal 120 degrees F, cooling to an [...]

The Bomb was invented in New Mexico, but Nevada soon became prime real estate for underground and atmospheric testing. I dunno if that was such a good choice. If I was going to test a device that can level cities and vaporize all life for miles around, I’d want to do it somewhere you could tell. [...]

Hey, you kids! Shut up back there! It’s time to play: Here’s how it works: Stop kicking the back of your mother’s seat and sit quietly staring out the window. When you see any of the objects or signs listed on your BINGO card, mark that space with a coin, a counter, a half-chewed Chiclet, [...]

“Did you know that 34 million American adults are obese? Putting together that excess blubber would fill the Grand Canyon two fifths of the way up.  That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind, it is a very big canyon.” –Kent Brockman, “I’m OK, You’re Too Fat” Fortified with another obscenely big truck stop [...]

“You never leave a man behind!” You-Had-To-Be-There Moment #45 “Hey, do you smell kibble?”

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