Route 96

Washington State, beautiful as it is, was underappreciated by our heroes as they drove Jenkin hard to make a return to native soil before the sun went down on my birthday. Isn’t Seattle kind of 1993 anyway? Speaking of the early 1990s, we did stop for burgers at a diner near Isa‘s home town of [...]

On the morning of my actual birthday, Pete and Derek bought me admission to the granddaddy of all mystery spots, the Oregon Vortex. First discovered by the white man in 1864, the “natural, historical, educational, scientific, authentic” Oregon Vortex is, we were told, the oldest and “most respected” gravitational vortex in America. The science behind [...]

We drove late that night because the next day was my birthday and I wanted to make it to Vancouver to celebrate. As in Texas, that long quiet night drive became one of our favorite parts of the trip.

The last and perhaps best named attraction in this cavalcade of rather hurting tourist traps were the Trees of Mystery. I’m sorry to report that the Trees of Mystery were just closing by the time we got there, so just what was so special about them remains… a mystery. In the Trees of Mystery parking [...]

But it was Confusion Hill that won the Jenkie award for Absolute Lamest Tourist Attraction in the Nation, beating out even the historical bell museum in Eureka Springs and the future birthplace of Captain Kirk. The secret of the Hill’s success? It is in fact three (3) utterly lame attractions all in one: The “Confusion [...]

After the Drive-Thru Tree, the roadside attractions grew increasingly stupid. Not that that bothered us, of course. “The Legend of Bigfoot” had a promising name, but just turned out to be a store that sold such lawn decorating essentials as plaster gnomes and all-weather Elvis busts. Their true specialties were big wooden sculptures of bears. [...]

The long drive up northern California is a lot like the Ozarks in its juxtaposition of intense natural beauty and surpassing tourist trap tackiness. The first sign of the latter was the World Famous Drive-Thru Tree. For those of you having trouble picturing this natural wonder, it’s a tree. And you can drive through it. [...]